~ Welcome ~

Thursday Off...

2009-10-15T23:29:00.004-04:00

>> Had really sad dream :(

>> Woke up really late :(

>> Rainy Day...hmmm

>> Found out Argentina made it to the World Cup...hopefully they stick around for a while

>> Wondered why with all the "privileges" of being a US Citizen are so many without Health Insurance...Oh ya it's because petty politicians insist of acting like 5 year olds and oppose the reform for the sake of opposition...reminds me of the guy at the end of "Return to Peyton Place" who just disagreed because it wouldn't be democratic if everyone agreed.

>> Watched 6 yr old boy trapped in runaway balloon 11,000 ft in the air...who was later found hiding in a box in the attic of his parent's garage...go figure

>>Ate Pizza...mmmm drank soda...double mmmmm (...bad idea...)

>> Dad and Me picked up my Mom from work...

....told stories of our dog Lucky eating & drinking just about anything he could get his hands on, holding on for his dear life when my dad drove too fast (occasionally giving my dad dirty looks because he just wanted to hang out the window without flying around) and waiting by the window...peeping through the curtains every time he heard a car pass thinking it was one of us who hadn't come home yet...I miss him :(

>> At home...Kept thinking about all the work I have to do....

>> Watched Marley & Me instead

...I'm missing my dog more than usual these days

>> Wish desperately I lived by the beach....A new dream to add to the list :)

mmmh...Thursday's

How was yours?

Verse of the day

2009-09-21T07:44:00.003-04:00

"For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

Colossians 3:3

How Beautiful. This is by far one of my favorite verses. First there is a contradiction - we died and we life. We have died to a life of insecurity, fear, shame, mistakes, anger, hurt....we died to a life that may have brought us to no end other than pain. And now we Live a life of peace of love, under refuge. The word says we are hidden with Christ in God. Could you imagine that. We are hidden with Christ in God. I imagine me wrapped up, protected, sheltered, safe. It makes me think of 2 Timothy 1:12 "Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day."

He has guarded that which I have entrusted to Him...my heart. I pray you trust Him to protect that very precious thing He desires...He is faithful so in Him your heart finds rest.

God Bless you ladies

Seek Refuge...

2009-09-15T14:11:00.005-04:00

Lost? Desolate? Frustrated? Hurt? Tired?

Before looking for answers to questions or solutions to problems. Before looking for a way to heal your heart and manage your out of control emotions.

Retreat!

Go to that secret dwelling place

Go and sit at the feet of God...The King of the Universe, That I am...Your Papa!

Don't ask Him for answers, Don't ask Him for solutions, Don't pay attention to yourself, how you feel or what is happening.

For a moment in time forget about yourself.

Take your introspective eyes and close them.

Before uttering one word...

Walk to your secret place...sit, kneel, laydown (whatever you feel led to do)

Escape with Him... lie under His wings and find your refuge in Him

Pick up your bible and read the story of God.

Sing songs that praise Him.

Listen to a teaching about Him.

Set your focus on Him.

Pay attention to His Heart, His Power, His Strength, His Love, His Mercy, His Story.

Pay Attention to Him

Then, without realizing you will look-up and realize you have arrived...you have the answer and you have peace. Without even realizing He already took care of you...you will have been filled with His peace .

That is my Beautiful, Loving God!

"He who calms the seas does that to the soul.
Still waters reflect faces smiling in His Peace. "

"For He Himself is our peace."

Ephesians 2:14

Exemplify - Boldness

2009-09-11T17:34:00.002-04:00

God continues to amaze me everyday. As I was preparing for this week’s devotional I asked God, “What is in the heart of your ladies? What would you like to say to them?”

I was completely ready to write about Hannah or just continue to the third part of Mary’s story, but God showed me something new. You see, for the last few weeks God has been put in me an admiration for women like Hannah and Mary (sister of Martha and Lazarus). I read their stories over and over and over again, because I loved to see their love for God seep out of the words on the page.

Free.....

They completely let go of themselves and the world around them – they were free with Him, utterly and inconsequentially. I imagined the feeling of jumping out of a plane, no parachute, arms completely spread out and the certainty of not crashing into the ground. What He was showing me was their heart!

These women were so in love with God and were always found at His feet. They depended on Him, trusted Him, were completely intimate and close with Him. No person was closer and no one else really mattered because they were His and He was theirs. His words were true, He was their teacher, comforter, father, friend, and lover…He was their everything and they embraced Him. They threw themselves, with all they had, into this relationship with Him and just got lost in Him.

So I asked God to reveal to me the hearts of His ladies and what He wanted to say. Then He drops in like a ton of bricks. I’m sure you ladies have read this story time and time again, but let me share it with you:

24Jesus left that place and went to the vicinity of Tyre. He entered a house and did not want anyone to know it; yet he could not keep his presence secret. 25In fact, as soon as she heard about him, a woman whose little daughter was possessed by an evil spirit came and fell at his feet. 26The woman was a Greek, born in Syrian Phoenicia. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter.

27″First let the children eat all they want,” he told her, “for it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” 28″Yes, Lord,” she replied, “but even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.” 29Then he told her, “For such a reply, you may go; the demon has left your daughter.”30She went home and found her child lying on the bed and the demon gone.

Now I’m not sure what you thought when you first read this passage, but I didn’t understand. I know Jesus came to the world to reconcile everyone back to the father – Jew and Gentile alike. So when I read this the other night I thought, “Lord I know you’re not cruel, so why did you speak to her so harshly?” Then God said to me, “Remember, I deal with the heart.” Of Course! Jesus always gave ‘classic Jesus answers’ and healed each person differently. To one blind man who wanted to be healed he said, “Go, your faith has healed you.” (Mark 10:52) To another blind man he made a paste with mud and put it on His eyes, then gave him specific instructions to “wash in the Pool of Siloam.” (John 9:6-7) Why the disparities? Each needed the same healing as the other, but the point is that their hearts needed healing in different ways. Jesus will work “according to His power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20) So to one man He may say, “your faith has healed you,” but to another He may have to do a bit more. Isn’t He beautiful? He is intimate with the heart of each one of His children. He meets us exactly where we are and deals with us accordingly.

Okay, let’s get back to the Canaanite woman. Why did Jesus respond to her the way He did? What intention did he have?

Did she in her heart think she was nothing, unworthy?
Did she think she was beneath the Jews because she was a woman and a Canaanite (bitter enemy of the Jews)?
Did she need to be strengthened in her spirit to know she is deserving of the kingdom – of His love and grace?

I think Jesus wanted to heal her heart. He set up the opportunity for her to fight for her blessing, and that’s exactly what she did. She fought for Jesus. She was strong willed or maybe just desperate, but she took hold of what she wanted and refused to be rejected.

Sometimes we might not fight for our blessings, when that’s exactly what God wants us to do. He wants to refine our character and heal old wounds and insecurities. But when He pushes us just a little, we lose heart and don’t fight for our blessings! How stupid!

God loves us! He wants us, His Daughters, to be confident, strong, and assertive. He wants us to be bold! He wants us to take heart and take hold of our dreams, our calling, and our needs. He wants us to bring them before Him and ask for what rightfully belongs to us. I’m not being arrogant when I say this because I know I myself am unworthy of His grace, but we have been “adopted as his [daughters] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” (Ephesians 1:5) He wants us and wants to lavish on us “every spiritual blessing in Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3) Give Him thanks because He “qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of the light” (Colossians 1:12) HE QUALIFIED YOU! Be BOLD like this woman. Be bold like Job (Job 23). Be bold, you are His daughter. Humbly throw yourself at His feet and embrace this relationship He wants with you – this desire he has to be intimate with you! He revealed Himself and His heart to her this day, He revealed Himself to me, now let Him reveal Himself you! Don’t hold back and don’t forget! Know you can boldly and humbly lay yourself at his feet and be found with your friend, your provider, your daddy!

Lord God I Thank you for the confidence we can have in you. I know we can depend on you and run to you and throw ourselves at your feet at any given time. Lord God, I want to ask for the spirit of boldness to fall upon each of your ladies. You know that sometimes we forget and sometimes we are found weak, but we know you are our provider and our caretaker. Lord you have placed a calling or desire in each of our hearts and I pray that we can boldly come before you and claim the blessings that you have stored up. Let the flood gates of heaven rip open and the blessings you have stored up for us be released. We want to live our lives fully free serving you and loving you. Don’t let us hold back because of fear or lack of strength or confidence. Lord I rebuke the spirit of fear and timidity. Teach us to walk in step with you every day of our lives and be found truely living.

God Bless you Ladies and may God’s perfect peace be upon you

Verse of the day

2009-09-07T14:17:00.005-04:00

~ Verse of the day ~

Drink His words like a warm cup of coffee :)

"And pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18

God is soo faithful! Let us pray without ceasing, laying our hearts open for Him. Loving Him because He loved us first.

My Sister's Birthday

2009-09-05T01:28:00.003-04:00

So today is officially my sister's birthday. My little one is 20 years old!! My beautiful girl you are precious as rubies and lovely like the doves. Gentle and humble a spirit, with a fire to be reckoned. Keep seeking Him with all your might - Get lost with God! I am here on this walk with you, so don't ever feel alone: Ecclesiastes 7:12

¹² Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

You are my sister and my best friend. Te quiero mucho mucho mucho :)

Prov17:17

¹⁷ A friend loves at all times,
and a brother [sister] is born for adversity

Exemplify - Get Lost!

2009-08-28T08:37:00.000-04:00

I love the logo for Exemplify. A woman on her knees before her God…showing no concern over soiling her outer garments or the external disruptions of her surroundings. She has found herself at home in His presence and has clung to Him for comfort.

All her fears and anxieties melting away with the warm breeze of His embrace, dripping from her worn body like the morning dew.

As the psalmist (Psalm 55) she hurries to her place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm. Evening, morning and noon she cries out in distress and he hears her voice. She casts her cares on the Lord knowing he will sustain her. She says to herself (Psalm 62:5-6), “Yes, my soul finds rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly he’s my rock and my salvation; he’s my fortress, I won’t be shaken.” (Psalm 34:5) She looks upon him and is radiant, because the faces of those who look to him are never covered in shame

It amazes me how beautiful God is. We can utter any two words we choose at any given moment. We don’t have to wait in traffic to meet Him, we don’t have to worry about getting stuck with the voice mail or losing reception, we don’t have to worry about Him criticizing us or gossiping about us. You are just free to be you! You don’t have to hold back, you can throw yourself at His feet and get lost in Him.

In my last post, I wrote about Mary sister of Martha. She is absolutely one of my favorite women mentioned in the Bible. Three times she is mentioned and three times she is found at His feet. The first time was when Jesus came to visit their home. Martha was upset with her for not helping with the chores, but Mary didn’t really care. She sat there and listened to Jesus speak – mesmerized with every word that came from His lips. The world around her didn’t exist – it was just her and her Rabbi. She was lost in Him.

Like her, my soul longs for Him, day and night. (Psalm 34:8) I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. I was damaged the moment I glanced upon the face of my maker…none other than Him will satisfy like a fire consuming my entire being. I was immersed in Him that day… washed by His spirit…never found the same again.

The moment anyone gets even a glimpse of Him, they are damaged forever. There is nothing in the world that will ever satisfy like Him. No one in the world to compare. I mean you can talk to Him and tell Him you’re mad…all the while this is the same One that reigns over everything. He listens to your grumbling or to your good news; comforts you and wraps around you when you’re sad, jumps up and down with you when you’re excited. It’s intimacy.

Mary knew that kind of intimacy with Jesus. In the second account: John 11:28-32

And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him…When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.”

She ran to Him, fell at His feet and poured out her heart, and He wept with her. Wow! I mean, its unfathomable that we could have such a relationship with the Son of God! My prayer is that we are all found to be like Mary…quickly running to Him and falling at His feet calling out, “Lord!”

The enemy uses trials, fears, and depression to cripple us to our knees…ironically though we become planted into the perfect posture to be strengthened. In a weakened state we may remain speechless, but (Psalm 65:1 MSG) silence is praise to God…He hears the prayer in it all. Like Hannah (1 Samuel 1) through insecurity and depression, we can pray in our heart. (Romans 8:26) The Holy Spirit searches our heart and intercedes with groans that words can not express- he shouts them from the depths of our soul.

So, cling to Him…get lost in Him. Is the flame and ardor you once had for the Son of God fading? Ask Him to set you aflame again. Pray that God will burn you up…that He put a fire in your belly and consume you. That in your heart He place a longing for Him so deep that you won’t stop until you meet Him face to face – day after day after day. That you walk around embraced by His very scent. That you look at Him and acknowledge everywhere and in everything. Open your eyes, take a deep breathe, and come alive again!

Kim Walker…How He Loves Us

Even before I could see Him he saw me. He is relentless for me. I’m forever His and He is forever mine. My Beloved.

Caffeinated Randomness

2009-08-21T12:08:00.003-04:00

Yesterday a friend from church let me borrow Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I know, I know...But its my guilty pleasure. I didn't really enjoy the last movie so he said I had to read the book. Once I read it I had to borrow the next one..lol.

The good thing is that between the book and practicing piano for Sunday's set at Connection...I don't have to think about my Praxis scores coming in on Monday. AHhhHhH!!

Hope you ladies stay cool in this humidity!!!

Compilation

2009-08-20T01:05:00.010-04:00

I love the logo for Exemplify. A woman on her knees before her God...showing no concern over soiling her outer garments or the external disruptions of her surroundings. She has found herself at home in His presence and has clung to Him for comfort.

All her fears and anxieties melting away with the warm breeze of His embrace, dripping from her worn body like the morning dew.

As the psalmist (Psalm 55) she ⁸hurries to her place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm. ¹⁷Evening, morning and noon she cries out in distress and he hears her voice. She ²²casts her cares on the Lord knowing he will sustain her. She says to herself (Psalm 62:5-6), “Yes, my soul finds rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly he's my rock and my salvation; he's my fortress, I won't be shaken.” (Psalm 34:5) She looks upon him and is radiant, because the faces of those who look to him are never covered in shame

Like her, my soul longs for Him, day and night. (Psalm 34:8) I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. I was damaged the moment I glanced upon the face of my maker…none other than Him will satisfy like a fire consuming my entire being. I was immersed in Him that day… washed by His spirit...never found the same again.

They say ignorance is bliss but knowledge has become my ecstasy. I lie on the shore of His presence, my life beginning and ending with the rising and setting of the sun…symbolic of His love. Only His love is everlasting…so my life is eternal.

The fear crippling me to my knees ironically planted me in the perfect posture to be strengthened. In my weakened state I remained speechless. But (Psalm 65:1 MSG) silence is praise to Him…He hears the prayer in it all. Like Hannah (1 Samuel 1) through insecurity and depression, I prayed in my heart. His spirit interceded and shouted from the depths of my soul. Barely feeling I held on to Him by the tips of my fingers… but all the while, faithfully, He was already holding me in the palms of His hands. I was (Colossians 3:3) hidden with Christ in Him.

Now, resolutely I choose to stand… (Revelations 12:11) having overcame my enemy by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of my testimony; I didn’t love my life so much as to shrink from death. I saw His face and was blinded by the power of His glory...too much for the power of fear and death to penetrate.

Even before I could see Him he saw me. He is relentless for me. I’m forever His and He is forever mine. My Beloved.

Wednesday's Word

2009-08-19T13:07:00.007-04:00

Psalm 34

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will extol the LORD at all times;

his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the LORD;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the LORD with me;

let us exalt his name together.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Exemplify - Blabber mouth

2009-08-13T12:40:00.007-04:00

I would love to have been one of the women that followed Jesus. Everyday walking

with Him, listening to His every word, seeing His face...a tangible representation of God Himself. "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father." John 14:9

Could you imagine what it must have been like to physically walk, sit, or talk to God...face to face. I sometimes think to myself, this walk would be so much easier if I could have a face to face conversation with God in the natural and hear a response from Him in the moment I ask. Knowing Him though, He still wouldn't give us the answers we want to hear because He knows what lies in our hearts. He would give us a classis Jesus answer, with no intention to confuse but with every intention to make us more astute and refocus on the important thing - to depend on Him.

People wanted to know how to manage their worries...he says relax, "Seek first His kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will given to you aswell. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34 He basically said 'Hello! why are you worrying about the bills for next month or if you are going to find a job or about the school shopping your going to have to do or the food your going to be cooking tomorrow night between driving the kids back and forth and cleaning, when today you have enough to deal with already? Just chill! haha. And they were probably thinking ya Jesus very funny I know there is enough trouble today for me to me adding more to my plate,but...' They, like us, didn't always know how to just be quiet and listen.

This brings me to one of my favorite women of the bible, Mary, sister of Martha and Lazarus. The bible mentions Mary in three different instances. Each one at different times but each one showing Mary at Jesus' feet. In Luke 10:38-42......

38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was

distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

These are just five short verses, but its obvious that there are over five lessons to be learned from them. What I want to focus on is what Luke is saying about Mary. "Martha had a sister called Mary who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said." She was quietly listening. I want to be more like her. During my quiet time, I've found myself constantly talking - be it out loud or not. Even when I'm reading my bible! If i'm re-reading something I read before or something my Pastor spoke about, I have to consciously quiet my voice and clear my mind of anything I already understand, so that God can teach me what he wants me to learn at the time.

: ???Do I talk too much????

Does it ever happen to you, that when you spend time with God you do more talking than listening? Do you find that although you managed to stop speaking, your mind continues to be a blabbermouth? It's almost like you have to consciously put a muzzel on your thoughts to just find a moment of silence. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and they would just not stop talking? It is the most irritating thing in the world. Can you imagine God saying to Himself, 'if you could stop talking for two minutes I could answer your question.'

Mary was quietly listening to every word that came out of Jesus' mouth. It's like she craved it, she desired it more than anything. She understood what the Psalmist felt...Psalm 119:103

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth"

Nothing was going to take her away. She enjoyed His presence and knew this was her Rabbi.

(side note) A Rabbi was someone who was pursued by students when they came of age. They would ask the Rabbi if they could be their disciple and the Rabbi could either say Yes or No. Jesus was radical, he approached the disciples he wanted - not the best of the best either - and said follow me. That was a huge honor. (sidenote)

Mary followed him - she was his student and He her Rabbi. A Rabbi was more than just a teacher you wanted to learn from...A Rabbi is someone you embody. As you follow Him you will become just like Him. Jesus was Her Rabbi and he Chose her and I believe He chooses us today also.

I could argue, like i've done in the past, that it was easier for Mary and all the other disciples to follow Jesus and understand His teachings and His will because He was right in front of them. But its just the same today as it was then. We even have what they didn't at the time - the Holy Spirit. We can still sit in the presence of God and He can still utter words to us as clear as though he were physically sitting right beside us. Let's learn to quiet our thoughts and rest in His presence...it is in Him that we are strengthened.

: shhhh.....at His feet

"...in quietness and trust is your stength."

Isaiah 30:15

God Bless You Ladies and do not tire for His grace is sufficient for you :)

Caffeinated Randomness

2009-07-24T13:27:00.002-04:00

I haven't been part of Caffeinated Randomness for the last month. I've been away at Montclair State working for Upward Bound - Computerless :( I get a few minutes here and there but not very much.

I would like to have you know that today is the last day I will be studying for the Praxis. God willing everything will go well tomorrow and I will be able to teach come September. I know God set's everything up with perfect understanding and time. These last weeks that I spent living with these kids (13-17 yr olds) they have made me laugh, smile, happy, mad, annoyed, frustrated but thrilled for having invited me into their lives. I know that if teaching is what God wants for me right now, he has definitely set a good foundation for me to begin.

So pray for me ladies...I want to pass!! lol

Have a great day ladies

Fight in Silence...

2009-07-20T08:41:00.005-04:00

~ Exodus 14:10-13 ~

"As Pharaoh drew near, the sons of Israel looked, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they became very frightened; so the sons of Israel cried out to the LORD.Then they said to Moses, "Is it because there were no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you dealt with us in this way, bringing us out of Egypt?"Is this not the word that we spoke to you in Egypt, saying, 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."The Sea Is Divided. But Moses said to the people, "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever."The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning I read this passage at a fellow blogger's her page, Patterings. I read this story so many times before but this verse struck me today.

The people were hard pressed between a hard rock and a hard place. They lost sight of the God that loved them and were consumed by fear. They looked to one side and there was Pharoh with His army . They looked to the other side and the sea was roaring. Fear became accusation...Their Faith had failed. Moses is standing with them...He's stuck with the same army and the same sea...and accusations being thrown at Him. He was completely alone. But Moses was different. I'm sure he was gripped with fear...but it did not consume him. He trusted the God that brought Him to this place. He trusted and rested in the calling set for him. He said: "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever."
He not only heard God speak..but he believed. How many times have you heard God's voice and still questioned if it was really Him. How close are you to your Abba Father, to your rabbi. Do you hear Him when he calls. Moses Did. I want to be a woman on faith like Moses was a man of faith.

Then he follows-up with: "The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent."
This is something i've been learning during this season. I'm still here working at Montclair State for Upward Bound. Frustration quickly sets in...I pour everything out for the kids and my employers....Work like i'm working for God. I have to learn to be content that God is pleased even when others are not. I have been thrown under the bus, disrespected and unappreciated. Friday I was really tested, but Praise God I rested in His perfect peace knowing the battle does not belong to me. I no reason to fret, I do the best I can and give 100%. So I kept silent and did not fight. I trusted that my Abba, Father would redeem me...Because I know Him, and I trust Him. He is faithful and just. He fought for me when I kept silent.

So lets be like Moses and rest in the fortitude of His faithfulness, keeping silent while the Lord fights for us.

God Bless :)

Not Just Knowing...

2009-07-16T18:34:00.004-04:00

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus."

Romans 8:38-39

Paul is writing this to the Roman church and he's getting so excited because he's getting to know God more and God is getting deeper and deeper. He is getting to know who Father God is and how much He loves him. He is taking him to higher and higher levels of faith and while Paul is opening up his heart more, the Holy Spirit begins to move in him to the point of no containment, he says: "I am convinced...that NOTHING can separate us from the love of God."

I don't know if you might be thinking "I know God loves me, let's move on to something deeper." But do you really know the love of God...the love of Abba, Father. Are you confidently dwelling in His presence knowing that no matter what you do or don't do, say or don't say, feel or don't feel, understand or don't understand His love for you will never change. Do you KNOW that regardless of where you are, God's love is constant? Before you answer, stop and think...

For years I thought I knew, but when my faith was tested I realized I wasn't fully convinced. I made mistakes and felt too ashamed to even face God…he wanted me to come and rest in His arms, to feel His forgiveness, but I wanted to go hide my nakedness. He knew it all and I wanted to redeem myself and prove that I can be righteous. I went to church, read my bible, and tried to fight temptations. I stayed away from certain people, talked to people about God, and tried to be a “good Christian.” I told myself: “I know only God can transform me, and make me new. I know He is the only one who can redeem me and make me righteous. I know he will forgive me and that he loves me.” I knew the truth, but I didn’t understand as well as I thought I did. I denied myself peace and rested in condemnation. I didn’t talk to anyone about what I was going through and didn’t have anyone to keep me accountable. I grew so accustomed to being alone that I didn’t realize how lonely I was. I thought I was just fine because I still talked to God, but conversations were superficial and I never let Him probe deep enough into my heart. Depression had consumed me like a roller coaster for years and every time I felt “better” I said I would never allow myself to feel that again. But instead of resting in my Abba Father’s arms, I tried resisting and fighting against words and consuming emotions. I can do all things...but didn’t allow Christ to strengthen me.

I didn’t live what I knew…didn’t fully understand the difference between knowledge, wisdom and understanding.

“By wisdom a house is built,

and through understanding it is established;

Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures”

Isaiah 24:3-4

Knowledge of God filled my spirit with beautiful truths of a loving, merciful and righteous father. Wisdom helped me build a foundation for understanding in which I could apply the word of God to my life. But my lack of understanding prevented me from ascertaining to the truth I find in Him.

- He shows no favoritism

- I am beautifully and wonderfully made

- I am accepted and adopted

- I am forgiven

- I am comforted

- I am righteous

- I am new

- I am healed

- I am enough

- I have a future and a purpose

- I am desired

- I am loved.

No matter what I am told or have been told. No matter what I do or have done. No matter what I endure or have endured. God is the all loving all powerful God. I don’t presume to fully comprehend the incomprehensible vastness of God…My mind is not fully capable…We don’t love like God loves. His love is patient, kind, doesn’t envy or boast, it’s not proud or rude, its not self-seeking or easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

He is my Abba Father, my Papa…he loves me and he loves you.

Are you, unintentionally, still trying to earn his love...thinking that your 'good behavior' will make God happier with you, make him love you more. Or are you so close to your Abba Father to the point of no containment - convinced that NOTHING can separate you from His love.

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,

Yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken

nor my covenant of peace be removed.

Says the Lord who has compassion on you.”

Isaiah 54:10

Beautiful...Phil Wickham

2009-07-15T08:40:00.005-04:00

Song of the Day:
Beautiful by Phil Wickham
Have you told him today?

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

Verse of the day

2009-07-09T09:37:00.008-04:00

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be abe to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God. "

~Philippians 1:9-10~

Rose of Sharon...Lily of the Valley

2009-06-18T14:41:00.012-04:00

"I am a rose of sharon, a lily of the valley.

Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens."

~ Songs of Solomon 2:1-2 ~

Today has been a bit of a melancholic day. I have been longing to draw nearer to God and find a deeper place with Him...I want to be more of a prayerful, loving, tender, strong woman...I want to seek His face like never before. I want to feel His embrace and be loved. I want to tear into His word and delve deeper than ever before.

Yesterday a friend and I decided we were going to help eachother along the way...encourage eachother and keep each other accountable. So far today is day one and I was not feeling very encouraged...I guess its days like today that we have to push through what we are feeling and know that we know that we know who He is and who we are to Him. We are loved. Beautiful Rose's of Sharon...Lily's of the Valley. I was walking passed my back door and glanced out the window and saw it...what I have been waiting for all summer...My beautiful lily bloomed!!! (This is not a picture of my lily but it is the same kind) At that moment the verse of Songs of Solomon came to mind...God says I am a lily of the valley a rose of sharon. I am loved...beyond what I feel or comprehend.

You are loved!!! God Bless you ladies :)

Café Chat

2009-06-06T19:23:00.005-04:00

Café Chat at Internet Cafe Devotions

http://www.internetcafedevotions.com/2009/05/cafe-chat_30.html

What are words or actions that we can share with those that are hurting around us?What aresome words or actions that were given to you in your difficult times that were an encouragement to you?

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Scripture says:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles,so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

[2 Corinthians 1:3-4]

To first answer this question I have to look at this verse and think of how God comforts me. He sends me silent words that wrap around me stronger than any embrace I've ever felt. I've found myself lying in bed not speaking at all and feeling Him laying by me not saying a word. I've felt Him graze my face and imagined Him holding me and twirling me. God speaks in all ways and comforts in all ways...but I've found the most comfort in the silence of His presence. No words need be spoken because my heart is pours out to Him and His love pours over me. So when I think of comforting someone who is hurting, I think of this...the power of His silent presence.

Many times we search for the right words to comfort a friend and come up empty - despairing them further as opposed to comforting. The most comfort I've found is in a friend silently listening...I mean really listening with a hand over mine...then praying with me. We won't always have a solution, so why not direct them to the source. In that time of prayer God will provide the words or the comfort. Be a friend, not just in the physical but also in spirit. Let the law of Love be in you and comfort those with the same comfort we have received from God.

God Bless Ladies,

Caffeinated Randomness

2009-06-05T10:57:00.008-04:00

This weeks Caffeinated Randomness is about your reflection.

I never really understood what it means to know who you are in christ, and last night I asked one of the Pastor's in my church...he said know who you are in Christ is to know who Christ is.

I saw this picture of a mirror on http://beunmuted.com/ and thought wow...to pick up the mirror and see Jesus and what was said to us. I thought of having the mirror and bunches of verses on it so as to not see our reflection and our own interpretation about who we are but what God says. Below are some verses compiled by http://www.northpbc.org/pub/who_i_am_longer_list.pdf to remind us of this very thing.

“WHO I AM IN CHRIST”

- I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10).

- I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).

- I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).

- I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).

- I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (I John 5:18).

- I am holy and without blame before Him in love (I Peter 1:16; Ephesians 1:4).

- I have the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5; I Corinthians 2:16).

- I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

- I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (I John 4:4).

- I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).

- I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17,18).

- I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues. I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17,18; Luke 10:17,19).

- I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9,10).

- I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38).

- I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

- I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).

- I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13).

- I shall do even greater works than Christ Jesus (John 14:12).

- I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (I Peter 2:9).

- I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (I Peter 1:23).

- I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).

- I am a new creature in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17).

- I am a spirit being alive to God (I Thessalonians 5:23; Romans 6:11).

- I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (II Corinthians 4:4).

- I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).

- I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).

- I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).

- I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).

- I am a partaker of His divine nature (II Peter 1:3,4).

- I am an ambassador for Christ (II Corinthians 5:20).

- I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (I Peter 2:9).

- I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (II Corinthians 5:21).

- I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (I Corinthians 6:19).

- I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13).

- I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).

- I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and longsuffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12).

- I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7).

- I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13).

- I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Galatians 3:13; Deuteronomy 28:15-68).

- I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7).

- I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (II Timothy 1:9; Psalm 66:8).

- I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (I Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:5).

- I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Colossians 2:12; Ephesians 2:6).

- I am greatly loved by God (Colossians 3:12; Romans 1:7; I Thessalonians 1:4; Ephesians 2:4).

- I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11).

- I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7).

- I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14).

- For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7).

- It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20).

God Bless You Ladies

His Grace is Sufficient for Me

2009-06-03T16:10:00.009-04:00

"My Grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness"

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 ~

My Papa is so Wonderful - we have a God full of grace and love. This verse has been replayed over and over in my mind during the last few days.

I have been feeling a little down on myself - weak, unworthy of Him, not good enough - but my sweet Papa has been reminding me that His grace is sufficient for me. I don't have to be perfect, He understands. I know this isn't a new revelation, but every so often God refreshes me with a truth I already know and wraps it around me as though it were a brand new robe.

I love you Papa...you are all loving, all gracious, all knowing...unfathomable yet evidently visible. I know I always fall short but you pull me the rest of the way. "You are my help and my deliverer; you are my God..." [psalm 40:17]

May it be in me as it was in David: "My sacrifice O God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart." [Psalm 51:17] "But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds." [Psalm 73:28]

Fall in Love with Him

Monday Meme

2009-06-01T10:32:00.008-04:00

"Set your minds on things above,

not on earthly things.

For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God."

[Colossians 3:2-3]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is one of my favorite verses, and Joanne from http://joannesher.blogspot.com/ chose it at the perfect time - well I should say God chose it and used her. Perfect, because this is an incredible tough season for me and I need more than anything to "set my mind on things above." I know I am prone to failure and disappointment, but I know He does not fail and He does not disappoint.

This verse says we ought to set our minds on things above not on earthly things. When our sight becomes distorted we can't see where we're going. Obvious right? Not so obvious outside of the natural. Forgetting that our only responsibility is to this day and to our God...working with all our might for Him...and remembering that we have died we are no longer of this natural world so we don't live by its rules. God says our life is hidden with Christ in God. I imagine being cacooned with Him and having God wrapped around us just being the three of us together. What more could I ask for. I live here for Him...so as long as my eyes are set on Him and my intention is to please Him why worry about pleasing others or failing under the standard of this place we call society..."the real world." It's all an obstructed view to miss what is above.

Clear the clutter and set your eyes on things above...on His Kingdom and righteousness.

Love you ladies,

Café Chat

2009-05-30T21:40:00.008-04:00

Café Chat at Internet Cafe Devotions

http://www.internetcafedevotions.com/2009/05/cafe-chat_30.html

"So today, I would like for us to share some of the words that were said to us, or words we said to others that were not comforting, or maybe even made the situation worse. Today's sharing is not at all an exercise to condemn those around us who may have said things that were not good, but to help our community see what words can do if they are not filtered through Jesus."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Words definitely have a much more impact leaving an emotional scar as opposed to the pain of a physical blow. Words have to power to destroy or heal the soul:

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tounge of

the wise brings healing."

[Proverbs 12:18]

Growing up some have compared me to others, told me was worthless and ugly, and dismissed me as though my opinions or thoughts were nothing. I was constantly reminded of my weaknesses and flaws.

But....

With few words from others, my heart has wanted to jump out of my chest :) I'm proud of you, you can do it, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are encourgaging, I love you.

Words can either destroy or heal their soul. Don't let your words be sharp, soften them and you may reach the core of someones heart.

Be Blessed,

Ephesians 1:8

2009-05-27T10:00:00.001-04:00

(Q1) What do we Christians have to look forward to? How should this hope be a major motivation in our present-day lives? How should this hope affect our decisions and our lifestyle? How does our great hope differ from the hope of the average non-believer?

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As Christians we have an eternity with Jesus Christ our Lord, we get to abide with our God. "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God Himself will be with them and be there God." How beautiful is that!! He will dwell with us...I can't wait for the day! "He will wipe away ever tear." We will be fully restored to Him...wow!! He said, "those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God."

It is motivating because I am reminded I am wanted and have been pursued so I need to run into His arms now and fall in Love with Him more and more every day and worship Him in gratitude for all He has done. He has Loved me unconditionally, even though I am undeserving. So what will I do in this present day?I will grab hold of Him now, Live my life according to Him now, walk with Him now, trust Him now, obey Him now, seek Him now, fall in Love with Him now! The day I get to see my Papa face to face will be the sweetest day!!

Our great hope vs. a NB is different in the sense that we are certain. Our life after this will be forever with God and our time spent here on this earth I can be free...imagine standing on a ledge backwards over a cliff and jumping off (no parachute) without a second thought in mind. "because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day." [2 Tim 1:12] Fully trusting my life in the hands of God having no need for concern. I AM FREE!

Beautiful Flower

2009-05-24T22:05:00.002-04:00

As this weekend closes, I want all you ladies to remember how beautiful you are. We are not defined by any other than our Papa, so remeber he said you are beautiful:

"All beautiful you are, my darling;

there is no flaw in you."

[Songs of Solomon 4:7]

He sees all of you, the woman he made you to be...and he says you are beautiful. You have stolen His heart:

"You have stolen my heart, my sister my bride;

you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes

[Songs of Solomon 4:9]

In the days - like today in my case - when you see all your imperfections, remember that God all mighty has pursued you all the days of your life because He loves you.

~ You are beautiful ~

"The Mystery of Pharoh's Hard Heart"

2009-05-20T16:26:00.000-04:00

Lately i'vebeen thinking a lot about pre-destination and free-will interwined into one - I haven't contemplated it much, but it has been on my mind.

This morning I received an e-mail from highcalling.com about the complexities of Pharoh's hardened heart. Below is an exerpt from the article:

When Moses finally accepted God’s call to return to Egypt in order to free the Israelites, God warned him in advance that the road ahead would not be easy. This would have come as no surprise to Moses, who surely didn’t expec Pharaoh to give up his massive slave force just because of a few miracles. However, the Lord did not say “Pharaoh will refuse for obvious reasons,” but rather, “I will harden his heart so he will refuse to let the people go” (4:21).

This can be a troubling idea for at least three reasons. First, it seems to imply that Pharaoh is just a puppet whom God can move about at his will. But what about Pharaoh’s will? Doesn’t Pharaoh have any freedom of choice in the matter of his response to Moses? Second, if God is responsible for Pharaoh’s hard heart, then it seems as if God is solely responsible for the terrible things that will happen to the Egyptians. This would make us wonder about the justice of God.Third, as the story of Exodus unfolds, several passages make it clear that Pharaoh hardened his own heart (for example, 8:32). So which is it? Did God harden Pharaoh’s heart? Or did Pharaoh harden his own heart?

The questions presented in the article are legitimate and I have asked them myself. However while reading this article a thought came to me: Just know Him...

Instead of looking for answers logically and accusingly, fall in Love with Him and know Him. Let Him explain to you what is yours to understand and give you peace about the secret things that belong to Him [Deuteronomy 29:29]. The things of God are incomprehensible through our own rationale. So seek Him to bring fulfillment and wisdom. Embrace the priviledge of knowing Him.

So very simply...Just Know Him!!

An Original Masterpiece

2009-05-18T18:52:00.005-04:00

You are an Original Masterpiece!!!

^"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

[Ephesians 2:10]

Ephesians 1:3

2009-05-16T13:49:00.000-04:00

This week I was supposed to mediate and answer some questions for this Ephesians Bible Study - but I couldn't leave the one verse God kept laying on my heart:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ."

[Ephesians 1:3]

It amazes me how concerned we become over so many things and forgetting that we have been blessed beyond measure. We worry and even when we try to seek councel at His feet, we are so wrapped up in the problem that we forget at whose feet we are standing.

I could see it, Jesus is standing there looking at you as you approach Him, sit beside Him or maybe waiting beside because you haven't bothered to come to Him. He is standing there hands open "come to me I have what you need, come ask I will provide for you, come delight in me and I will give you the desires of your Heart. He holds everything in His hands and we limit ourselves to what we believe is possible. Do not put walls around Him, He will be a gentlemand and wait for you but when you finally decide to get off your behind and come to Him he sure enough has a knack for showing off. Take Acts 2 - of all days for the Holy Spirit to come down it was the day of the Pentecost, the day celebrating the old covenenant. More over, what drama: tounges of fire descending, people speaking all languages, ordered chaos. That is God, he doesn't do things small. He made the Sun. Yes we know the sun is hot, but put this into perspective: the sun is 94 million miles away, it takes 8minutes for the heat to leave the sun and touch your face, every second heat leaves the sun and travels 94 million miles to the earth it is radiatin genergy equivalent to 92 Billion Nuclear Bombs. Every second - BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Never seen a nuclear bobm go off - check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNcQX033V_M And this is only an average star out in the sky, not even the largest by far. This powerful God that comes up with crazy things like that is the same God that breathed life into you, the same God that pursues you everyday, the same God who ripped open the curtain to have you by His side. The huge powerful God that makes mountains move with one word is the same tender and soft God who says come to me. I have every already have for you every spiritual blessing in Christ - come for it. Don't be satisfied with a part time relationship embrace the fullness of God.

Be Blessed

Happily Ever After

2009-05-15T19:14:00.007-04:00

Hello :)

So I've been reading a book my Susan May Warren, "Happily Ever After." I know it reaks of a chick book, lol but I love it...it really is a great book - Check out her website to read a synopsis. Well I'm well into it and every now and then I have to pause - she writes some very simple but profound truths.

Mona the main character is a lot like me...tenacious - sometimes to a fault, a dreamer, strong but very vulnerable, and very reserved about her feelings. She has a best friend who is sometimes ditzy and very loyal. She has a simplicity and wisdom about God you don't really expect. I was captured by this section I just read and felt the need to share with everyone.

"Mona blinked back tears. 'I dont deserve His help'. She winced at the despair in her voice. Liza's silence betrayed empathy. Finally, she reached out and fingered a strand of Mona's blond hair. 'The Footstep of Heaven. You know what I think of when I say that? I think of sitting at Jesus' feet. I feel Him wrapping His arms around me, and I hear Him telling me it's okay, that I don't have to be perfect, that He loves me just the way I am. Even when I make huge mistakes...You can't create your own heaven on earth. That's His job. If you try to do it yourself, you'll never experience the love of God fulfilling your wildest dreams.' "

(Pg. 291-292)

I think of the devastation in Mona's heart and remember the sadness that sometimes lurkes in the shadows of my Heart. She voiced the words that I felt and silently embraced, 'I don't deserve His help.' Yet she was trying so hard to build this dream that He placed in her heart, "The Footstep of Heaven." To her it was a childhood dream that had secretly evolved into a pursuit of peace. She fought unwaveringly to create this "Footstep of Heaven," and all the while feeling undeserving of forgiveness and help. She wanted Heaven without having to go through God. Impossible! She was trying so hard do it on her own - partially trusting God, partially believing God, partially running from God. Yet little did she know, that while she was running away shamed, God had already given her the real Footstep of Heaven. He planted in her a name and a location. He provided help and encouragment. He provided a physical structure that she could see with her eyes, but underneath the surface and between the lines God provided real rest at His footstep. It's just like Him to speak so indirectly lol, but He's a gentleman and will never force His way into your heart.

Her quirky friend had more wisdom then she knew "The Footstep of Heaven. You know what I think of when I say that? I think of sitting at Jesus' feet. I feel Him wrapping His arms around me, and I hear Him telling me it's okay, that I don't have to be perfect, that He loves me just the way I am. Even when I make huge mistakes...You can't create you own heaven on earth. Thats His job. If you try to do it yourself, you'll never experience the love of God fulfilling your wildest dreams.

Mona could never create her own heaven on earth, that is God's Job. She had this dream of fashioning her own version of Heaven but it will not compare with what God can do with her dream if she allowed Him to.

How many of us can relate to Mona? That pride which is really shame clutches us from Jesus' hands not allowing us sufficient room to let Him in. He desires us and has left Himself vulnerable - Heart completely open - as He pursue's us. He who is Love has risked far more than many of us have ever even considered

Can you touch it, can you feel the tenderness the vulnerability dripping from his heart? Can you see how open and soft His heart is? I can almost taste the sweetness. There it is dripping like dew, drenched by Love. I wish I could idiomatically express the vision I see before me, but seek Him and allow Him to show you. (Oh my God let me forever remember...)

"Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God."

[Matthew 5:8]

This is our God, this is our Papa, this is the one who has pursued you your entire life, this is the one who dreamt of you and destined you to be His, this is the one who called out to you hoping you would look upon His face, this is the one who chose not to see your ashened face and soiled covering, this is the one who accepts you as you are, this is the one who see's behind the marble exterior to a heart in need of His touch.

Turn to Him, even in your iniquity, pain, and weakness - turn your eyes to Him and experience the endearing man who longs for you. He says to us look at me, seek my face, with one glance you steal my heart.

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;

you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes."

(Songs of Solomon 4:9)

Be blessed ladies...seek His face, you are His beloved :)

Ephesians

2009-05-12T11:24:00.000-04:00

I have started a study of Ephesians with a website: Jesuswalk.com. Its great and they send daily questions in regards to the weekly passage, so I will be sharing some of my thoughts with you. Let me know what you think when considering the question and passage. God Bless

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"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

who has blessed us in the heavenly realms

with every spiritual blessing in Christ."

(Ephesians 1:3)

What does it mean to you to be "in Christ" -- incorporated into Christ? What are the implications of this for your life?

What does it mean to me to be 'in Christ'? I feel Honored - someone like me who is undeserving who is not to be considered a saint, holy or blameless, is called to be a saint, holy and blameless by a man so endearing, so kind, so magnanimous. I have been stained in so many ways that it was inconceivable to me that a man so Holy would allow a soiled little girl into His presence...into His arms. I feel more accepted and more loved than I ever have in my life. I am always accompanied even when I stand alone. My spirit has been interwined with his and it is beyond me to understand how...I just know it has been the most freeing experience of my short life.

At times I allow myself to become defeated and I have be reminded this truth - I am in Christ. "If God is for me who can be against me." There is nothing that can defeat me if I am with Christ in God. "For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Every time I read this verse I imagine myself cocooned under His arm or in His hands.

Verse 3 says: "Praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed is un the heavenly realms with EVERY spiritual blessing in Christ."

Every spiritual blessing that is found in Christ is now found in me...Every one. I am loved I am protected I am accepted I have a hope I am strengthened - I have everything I need so I need not worry. I am covered under My God.

Wow, what grace!

Him...

2009-03-05T21:21:00.000-05:00

"When your words came, I ate them;

for they were my joy and my hearts delight,

for I bear your name,

O Lord God Almighty"

[Jeremiah 15:16]

My Hearts Delight...My Joy...

Do you understand the weight of these simple words?

My Joy...My Hearts Delight...

Wow!

It means my heart is enraptured. It is the reason for every beat, feeding every fiber, fueling every contraction; It is the oxygen flowing; It is the kinetic force propelling blood to perfuse all the way to my toes and back.

It is the very air I breath to live and all the while leaving me breathless.

It is every word leaving His lips pounding into my chest and consuming my very existence.

He has made me to be His and has taken captive every part of my being.

Just a glance of His face causes my heart to quiver

The thought of Him floods my mind with words and inundates me with emotion...but I am rendered speechless.

He places His hand on my face and I forget how to breath

I become lost, but fear not, because I know I am found...I am with Him and He is with me.

I have died and now I finally Live.

Hidden along with Him, held in His arms.

In His hands, the most sacred and fragile of things, I have entrusted in absolute.

My soul won't contain itself...its tasted of His beautiful spirit and finds no logic outside of Him.

"For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

[Colossians 3:3]

Where else can I go where He is not? Where can I turn and He not be found?

He is everywhere...His aroma, His face, His fingerprints, His touch.

His songs fill the air and I am absorbed by His symphony...Notes flutter in the sky and I'm peirced by their melody.

My cup runeth over...How great a Love He has bestowed upon me!

"...for I know whom I have believed,

and am persuaded (convinced)

that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him

until that day."

[2 Timothy 1:12]

Do it Again!

2008-05-04T22:43:00.003-04:00

Okay so I have had this blog open for a while and I wrote a couple of posts, but then one day I felt like I needed a new start. I have been down a long journey this last year and a half, and although at times everything just felt so difficult and confusing, it has been the best time of my life. I have known God my entire life but you can say I really began walking with him January of 2007. I started writing again and loving again. I started really getting to know him and falling in love with him, and in the process I was getting to know and love myself. I reflect and it feels like my 22 years are really so many more. I love my life because even through all my mistakes and wrong turns, I am able to see God's hand over me.

Yesterday, I came across a post on [http://www.internetcafedevotions.com/] asking the question:

If you could have a conversation over dinner with
any one person, dead or alive, with the exception of Jesus,
who would it be and why?

I thought WOW who would I want to speak to, so many people come to mind - Maybe an inspirational speaker, or an extraordinary man or powerful woman from the bible. So many but so few came to mind and I still could not become convinced. I just came from connexion (a young adults service from my church) and the Pastor was talking about the verse:

"And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless
you change and become like little children,
you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
[Matthew 18:3]

More than anything a child trusts, he/she has complete trust without a doubt. God wants us to be like children because only this way do we finally learn to trust with our arms stretched out wide.

Who would I speak to if I had the chance, I would speak to young me. I would tell her its okay to trust, its okay to let go and not be afraid or intimidated. I would tell her she is beautiful and she has a daddy who loves her so much that he gave up his life for her. I would tell her how she is so strong and to just keep pushing forward, and I would tell her to always ask: Quo Vadis Deus? Which way God?. I would not try and change anything that happened - good or bad - but I would tell her to always remember its okay to make mistakes because God uses everything for God. I would tell her not to to be so hard on herself. I would tell her all the things that have been done and will be done, can be healed. If I could I would give that child back her innocence and tell her to just be a little girl and to love with her heart wide open.

Oh how I wish I could go back in time and encourage that little girl with a big voice hiding behind her small lips. Soulful eyes afraid to see. But I cant do that, I am who I am today and I was who I was. I live today looking forward and asking God to show me that little girl inside of me, innocently loving and trusting a future that is unclear but certain. I ask God, that even though I know he has done so many times before, but to please DO IT AGAIN! Revive me and reawaken me. Let me feel you and smell your sweet fragrance everywhere I go. DO IT AGAIN! Take me to that place that only you and I know. DO IT AGAIN! Like a little girl wanting to play with her daddy and spend all her time with him, DO IT AGAIN! Let me Love you with everything I have. DO IT AGAIN! Let me be that sweet little girl who thinks of nothing more than running around with her daddy. DO IT AGAIN!

Think and meditate on that something that you once had inside of you keeping you closer to God and loving with a whole heart, and tell him: DO IT AGAIN!

2008-01-31T23:28:00.000-05:00

Beautiful! Strong! Courageous!

A Woman...Years hidden and bound but finally freed.
A diamond in the rough seemingly afraid of the world…has been taken away into a place where she can spread her wings
Embracing the desires of a passion burning from within
She will guide the hidden pearls...those charred and burned...to he whom they belong...to he who loves them
They will see their value, their Beauty, their Strength, and their Courage

She has died
She has risen
and now...She lives
All by the abounding grace of an unending love radiating from an unconquerable King
A father and friend in whom she has been granted eternity

He has transformed this caterpillar into a butterfly...
Simple yet exquisite
And now she flies in the shadow of his wings...lavished and exuberant

Just wanted to share...

2008-01-31T23:17:00.001-05:00

Hey Guys, This post i wrote the other day in my other blog but I wanted to share it with you guys...hope you are blessed

Hello my dear loving friends,

I just wanted to share a small little piece of my day, that was very special to me! Well, if you read my last blog then you would understand why it was so special to me, so just a side note.

Anyway...

I have been going to Echo Lake park by house lately, and it seems each time I go it is just way more special then the last. Today I brought my ipod with me (the last few times I didn't to listen to any music). There was a girl sitting in this gazebo and I climbed down further by water so that I would be in complete solitude. I sat for a minute meditating about the lesson God taught me the last time I was there. (I will save that story for another day, but I will say how amazing it is that from just a little stream and its path God can teach me so much).

Well, when after a while I walked even further down the stream to an area where I was sure I would be alone. I just started praising God, singing (I am NOT a singer hence why I made sure I was completely alone..haha), dancing, jumping up and down, talking to him, but more than anything just being quiet. As much as God kept pounding into me, "be still"...I didn't understand the silence. I am a very outgoing person, but I can also be kind of reserved...I like my quiet time. However, sometimes I would feel as though I needed to fill the silence when around other people or even with God. I have found myself scrambling for words just to avoid the void. It took me a while to realize that I feared that silence, even though I loved that silence...I wasn't really accepting myself for who I was and just being content with that side of me. That is what made me avoid this extra solitude with him. In silence the heart speaks much louder and much more eloquently than the lips, so why not embrace it. And so God has been showing me that. He enveloped me and has been revealing more of himself to me as he has been bringing more of who I am into the light. How wonderful is he...He wants the real you, pure you, the one we are sometimes afraid to show. To anyone who may have passed by me today I probably looked and definitely sounded ridiculous, but it didn't matter because I was with my daddy and he was pleased.

Thats a little piece of my heart to you all,

Love You Guys,
Sonia

"it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him. " Lamentations3: 26-28

One Day...

2007-12-26T01:41:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wish I could just fly away. to a place really far away...away from people, from ideals, from expectations, from my own mind...to a place where I'm free to just breath, have no fears, no hesitations, no anxieties...just free! In that Meg Ryan movie, she quotes something, i'm not exactly sure from where (maybe a song), but she mentions the words "I wish I had a river I could skate away on". It sounds silly I know, but what would this mean. I would be able to go...go without knowing where. I would be guided by the path of the stream. There wouldn't be anyone or anything to get in my way...Not even me. I dream about sitting on a roof top, just gazing at the moon and stars. I make plans of one day going down by the ocean I love so much and stare into the power of your creation, numb to even the chilly wind. I talk about going out for a walk through the park to be in solitude with you. One day, I say, but that one day never seems to pass. It seems trivial I know, but what is it that time and time again stops me from going, forcing me to find excuses, to again say tommorrow!? What intimidates me so much about the seclusion? Is it the silence? I'm so aware, yet unaware of my surroundings that I just can seem to let myself go into the oblivion. I hold my hands down in front of a wall that I don't realize is there...a wall I don't realize I constructed. What am I keeping out? What was I keeping out? What am I still afraid of? I'm so intimidated of the world I live in and yet I know my feet aren't completely touching the ground. What binds me? Should this be an intervention with myself or a renewal by you? What's the answer? How do I let go...let myself go from a world I don't belong to? Part of me feels like the butterfly with no restrictions, no commitments, no fears, no insecurities. Just ready to lift my wings and go high, so high that I get lost in the clouds. I envision myself being like an eagle standing proud and secure in herself and in who she is. She flies just to feel the breeze and bask in the beauty of the creation, she doesn't fly to run away. I often fantasize about my life like it were a movie with a romantic happy ending. Until I wake-up and remember i'm not in a movie, i'm not the eagle, i'm not like the butterfly...I'm the caterpillar, small, dreaming of having her wings, dreaming of a renewal, dreaming of an escape from the ugliness she knows. Does it always have to be a dream? Will it always be a dream that I have to wake-up from, or will it one day be a reality. One day, will I do something that really matters, one day will I find a place of my own...a place where only I belong, one day will I grow and realize the value I have and stop dreaming? One day, will my one day ever come? Sometimes I suppose it's just easier to escape my own reality. I know this isn't very biblical...It doesn't fulfill your purpose in anyway, and if I said these words to anyone else they would probably think i'm crazy, but I know you understand. Because you love me.You listen to my words however foolish they may be, you probably even chuckle at me or just flat out laugh with me, all because you love me. So I want to say thanks. Thank you for providing for me a safe haven where I can escape and feel free to be me. Thank you for taking me to an empty place where the world and all its chaos, ceases to exist. Thank you for caring for me, when you just don't have to care. Why do you do this I wonder, after I have rejected you so many times. How can you be so forgiving, so loving? I've been slipping away lately, but you haven't let me fall. I haven't really found a place for myself in this world yet, but I know you already have it prepared for me. So thank you! For now I just dream of the one day when its just you and me holding hands, taking a walk, side by side. Maybe even, no words are spoken because a heart filled with love speaks loud enough. One day the one days will no longer be and it will be you and I, just free. One Day..

What is Beauty

2007-10-16T16:10:00.000-04:00

In a woman...from a woman: It is in the way she LOVES!

The way she walks, talks, interacts, relates, lives, and breaths. A woman of Beauty knows nothing but Love in her soul...Through pains and heartaches, sad and joyous moments, forgettable and unforgettable memories...Her very essence is of Love...A woman with the spirit of God knows of nothing more...simply because it cant be overpowered.

She is consumed by LOVE! She is consumed by her Beauty! She is Beautiful!

My Eternal Love

2007-08-30T01:58:00.000-04:00

How wonderful Oh God! I cry out to you Lord and you never cease to respond...I don't recognize neglect when I look to you...How awesome you are God so faithful and purposeful...You wrote my name in your hand...never to forget me...You have prepared a place for me and now you are preparing me for that place...Mold me Father, shape me, and kneed me so that I will be pleasing in your eyes. Allow me to see myself...who I am, who you created me to be...why you created me to be...Give me your eyes so that I may see...give me your wisdom so that my mind may be renewed and restored as your mind...undress me of these weak emotions of the flesh, and cloth me in your truth...Father how Awesome and Wonderful a maker...So Grand and yet so Small! My shelter, my refuge, my compassion, my home, my TRUTH. My Eternal Love!

"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10